Posts Tagged ‘control’

Kids …

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take
comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence
did not extend to God’s kids.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and
Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” Adam asked.

“Don’t eat the Forbidden Fruit,” God replied.

“Forbidden Fruit? We got a Forbidden Fruit? Hey, Eve…
we got a Forbidden Fruit!”

“No way! Where?”

“Don’t eat that fruit!” said God.

“Why?”

“Because I am your Creator and I said so!” said God,
wondering why he hadn’t stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break
and was angry.

“Didn’t I tell you not to eat that fruit?” the ‘First Parent’ asked.

“Uh huh,” Adam replied.

“Then why did you?”

“I dunno,” Eve answered.

“She started it!” Adam said.

“Did not!”

“DID so!”

“DID NOT!”

Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment was
that Adam and Eve should have children of their own…
thus the pattern was set, and it has never changed.

http://bit.ly/a8uKzb

No Tapping

Monday, May 10th, 2010


A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask
him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the
car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped
centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the
driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again.
You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that
a little tap would scare you so much.”

The driver replied, “Its okay, that’s not really your fault.
Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving
a funeral van for the last 25 years…”