“Mike McClains Home Biz Review Info”

Mom goes to son’s room to wake him up.

Mother replies, “Because you’re the PRINCIPAL!”

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A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball
in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother
the lens was nowhere to be found.

Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes
returned with the lens in her hand.

“How did you manage to find it, Mom?”
the teenager asked.

“We weren’t looking for the same thing,”
she replied.

“What do you mean?”

“You were looking for a small piece of plastic…
I was looking for $150.”

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“Now, then, Christine,” said the math teacher, “I want to give
you a little problem. Suppose there were five children and
their mother had only four potatoes to share among them.
She wanted to give each child an equal share. How would
she do it?”

“Mash the potatoes,” the girl replied.
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One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch
and bring her the broom.

The little boy turned to his mother and said,
“Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have
to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “Jesus is out there.
He’ll look after you and protect you.”

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked,
“Are you sure he’s out there?”

“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready
to help you when you need him,” she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then
went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out
into the darkness, he called,

“Jesus? If you’re out there, would you please hand me
the broom?”  http://bit.ly/a8uKzb